Chess player denies using anal beads to cheat in match against world champion: ‘This is not a joke’
A chess underdog who unexpectedly beat a champion player has been accused of using anal beads to cheat his way to victory.
Yes, we know – you probably never expected to see “chess” and “anal beads” in the same sentence, but here we are.
The furore kicked off when Norwegian chess champion Magnus Carlsen announced he was withdrawing from the Sinquefield Cup, a lucrative tournament which attracts some of the world’s best chess players.
Carlsen posted on Twitter to say he was leaving the tournament, but gave no explanation why.
— Magnus Carlsen (@MagnusCarlsen) September 5, 2022
But it was the video he posted with the message that really got people talking.
Carlsen shared a video of Portuguese soccer manager José Mourinho saying: “I prefer really not to speak. If I speak, I am in big trouble.”
It’s considered unusual for a player of Carlsen’s calibre to withdraw from a major contest – that coupled with the cryptic video led chess fans to conclude he was dropping a hint about cheating in the contest.
Hans Niemann accused of cheating with anal beads
Chess fans quickly turned their attention to Carlsen’s surprise loss to Hans Niemann in the tournament.
Niemann was the lowest ranked player taking part in the tournament – which is why his win was such a big shock. The fact he ended Carlsen’s 53-game streak made his win even more suspicious to chess fans.
Needless to say, it wasn’t long before people started speculating on how Niemann could have cheated.
Wild theories have been shared on social media about the alleged cheating – and some fans have accused Niemann of using wireless anal beads to win the game.
In one clip shared on social media, a chess fan speculates that anal beads could “beat” anti-cheating measures.
“I’m not an expert at that stuff,” the person points out – which is probably a worthwhile disclaimer to issue when you’re accusing somebody of cheating with anal beads.
Another shared the clip and said they were “obsessed” with the anal bead allegations.
Currently obsessed with the notion that Hans Niemann has been cheating at the Sinquefield Cup chess tournament using wireless anal beads that vibrate him the correct moves. pic.twitter.com/F48BXjtBlN
— Babble (@Babble____) September 7, 2022
It should go without saying that people aren’t really taking the theory too seriously – most were just amused the idea was even floated in the first place.
The internet is fucking crazy. A drama breaks out, and within 72 hours there are theories ranging from "his team has a snitch" to "he is using vibrating anal beads to cheat at chess"
— GothamChess (@GothamChess) September 9, 2022
The link between chess and anal beads is lost on me. pic.twitter.com/OJN5YxSapt
— 𝐆𝐫𝐞𝐠 🏳️🌈 (@CasuallyGreg) September 15, 2022
I don’t need to know if the anal beads chess cheating scandal is real or not. The fact it can even be possible is enough for me to love it
— arabelle sicardi 英梅 (@arabellesicardi) September 14, 2022
There is a chess scandal going on involving anal beads. This is not a joke
— Matty (@bestestname) September 14, 2022
Niemann has denied the cheating allegations and said he would play fully naked to prove his innocence if required.
The 19-year-old said in a statement: “You want me to play in a closed box with zero electronic transmission, I don’t care. I’m here to win and that is my goal regardless.”
Chris Bird, chief arbiter of the Sinquefield Cup, has also insisted there’s no evidence of any cheating.
— Grand Chess Tour (@GrandChessTour) September 10, 2022
In a bid to calm concerns from fans, Bird said they would introduce “additional anti-cheating measures” after round three, including the scanning of players with RF scanners and a 15 minute delay on the live broadcast.
“The arbiter team will continue to remain vigilant, and all of the anti-cheating measures that have been in place will continue to be so for the remainder.”